April 27, 2014

queen of colors

A week of silence in this space usually means, either things are very busy in the Fishbowl or some little drama is holding me back from writing. In this case, unfortunately it is a combination of both. Remember me, asking you to cross your fingers for Tuesday? And you obviously did, because the challenge in front of me, was conquered pretty fine. Thank you so much for that. After it was done though, we have learned about some facts, that made all the celebration and the success kind of useless. Sorry, as I can't go into details right now, but we have been working for something for more than a year, only to find out, that the basics for our plan, are totally different from what we were told. In the first place, the only thing I felt, was being devastated. Totally shuttered, helpless and incredibly tired. The worst combination to make proper decisions, of course. While thinking and talking a lot about it, after having conversations with experts and with beloved friends, I am more angry than anything else. So is the husband. I am angry about people promising something, something really important, and not being able to take the responsiblity for it. You don't promise what you can't keep and if during time, you'll understand that you might not be able to keep your promise, you'll say so. But letting people believe everything is going right, only for your own sake, and totally ignoring the outcome for your client is really, really low. In every aspect, actually. So after five days of digesting, we did come to a decision and I am absolutely convinced it is the right one. As I have said, I am still pretty pissed, but do feel in control again, which is the first step to overcome this unpleasant episode. Our decision does mean, we have to reschedule a lot of stuff and find alternatives. But an ending is always better than going on, when you sense the path is leading absolutely nowhere. * swearing out loud for the last time.


  1. naturally i'm sorry to hear about the frustration. but it seems you have dealt with all the steps. and come out, on the "up" side. good for you! not everyone can do that. some get stuck on one of the steps, like the being-pissed-off step. and thus, don't learn anything, and don't go forward.

    best of luck to you, with this going forward.


    1. through would be a little early, but I am definitely trying to get there. maybe in the end, I will understand what this was all about. thank you so much for your words. such an honor to read them in this place.