October 08, 2011

"selectionish"

The thing about memories is, they are totally unpredictable and we never know, where they come from. Do we grow them, shape them or is there something, deep inside of us, that owns a thing like the truth? Probably it is a bit of all of these and actually, I strongly believe we somehow make a good part of them up. Maybe to feed a certain need, a spot that wants to be filled with pictures that we control. Be it concious or not. When coming across something green, for example, I am often reminded of an old story that is deeply connected to my childhood. There is the image of me, sitting in the back of a dark green Mercedes Benz. I clearly remember the place it was parked, see the old flowershop, close to the apartment I grew up in until I was thirteen. No idea who I was with, only I had to wait for them quite a while. There is wether a good or an uneasy emotion attached to the story. The only thing I recall, is the waiting. Strangely enough, my mother always tells me, there was no story like this. Never. We did not know someone with a car like this and I had not been alone in somebody else's car in that area. She is as much as convinced about the fact the story has not happened, as I am that it definitely took place. Over the years the story became some kind of a synonym for her, that I was about to make something up or imagine things. "Are we seeing a green Benz again?" For many years, her joking made me really angry and actually, it did quite upset me. It simply had been too vivid to not to be true. Today, I mainly laugh. Still convinced about my version, of course.

5 comments:

  1. Lovely post!
    Of course it was a green Benz; I find it less interesting to know where it appeared. And, who is to say, has the most accurate memory. Parents ought to encourage children to share their memories, no matter of their origin.

    When my son was little, I kept a notebook where I wrote down what he remembered. I know there are quite a lot of stories there about ice bears. I can't say I regard these memories very different than the trips we made to the store.

    I understand your anger, even if laughing may feel better. (I will read this again, and share it with my husband. I find it utterly interesting).

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  2. I agree with Lilli, a lovely and very interesting post! I too think it must have been a green Benz, somehow:) I have some memories too that are very strong, but my Mum can`t remember. Strange. I do think we can change our memories but there will allways be something that is true in it.
    So glad I found your fishbowl...

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  3. I agree with the previous post, there was a Benz.....you remember to much details. who knows.... beautiful pictures you placed to your story.

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  4. thank you so much for these comments. the green Benz probably never tought to receive that much attention! and you're all right, it must have been one. have a good Monday, despite the rain that is coming down heavy; at least here in Berlin.

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