August 12, 2011

"the idea of a pool becoming the sea"

Sometimes you think you've been swimming calmly in a pool until a wave hits you in the face. Be it a freshly popping up obstacle or something, jumping in from the past, one thing about being an artist I have always found difficult is to focus. Not that kind of focus, when you are in the middle of some creative process. That is easy and I love this flow. It is great to almost forget everything around myself and dive deeply into a painting or some writing piece. A totaly different story though are moments when I had, for example, a nasty argument with a loved one or when unpleasant duties, like bills and stuff, await me outside the studio. I am totally aware of being an artist and the professional parts that come with it. The fact that inspiration maily comes from practice, that routines and schedules are an absolute must, but some sort of emotions regularly kick me of track. It is so difficult for me to concentrate, when not knowing how to solve a problem or, when I know it will take some time until an important conversation is finally due. To fill the time in between with productive studio time would be the better alternative, but instead of doing so I often find myself staring at the problem and wasting tons of that precious time. The fact, that my studio is closely linked to our appartment;I actually don't  have to leave the house for work, doesn't seem to help here either. Most of the time the short-way-concept fits perfectly, when it comes to overcoming daily obtacles though, I am not there yet. Someone ones told me, this has to be a typical female problem, as guys think in drawers. When they're at work they are at work, when they come home it is private time. I am not sure about that one, but it is absolutely something I need to get better with. I understand this is not only something I owe to the chance I have been given to the life I live, it is also closely related to self-respect and liability. How would that sound: "She had been a good artist, but the power bill held her back from becoming great." Not exactly tempting. With this in my mind, I will brew a coffee, take a good look at the magic stone head and go back to the paints.

No comments:

Post a Comment